You could imagine the sight that the village drinkers were treated to. A dark skinned beauty pushing a car on one side with a sweaty white foreigner with a goofy hat pushing from the back. They all had the biggest smiles as we came to a stop. I asked how far to the nearest gas station. They did not know what I was talking about. Michelle said to ask about petrol. They knew what petrol was, and one said one or two kilometers. Michelle said we will have to push it. No way I said, are you crazy. I was exhausted from pushing it just a couple of feet over the hill. I told her I could walk and she could stay here.
There was this drunk older Thai fellow who came out to the road and started barking instructions in Thai. I tried to listen to him, but soon realized he was drunk. I could smell his breath from a couple of feet away. I wished we could have him breath into the gas tank as that might get us started. The drunk Thai guy yelling orders made everyone in the bar laugh even louder. All of a sudden, a voice pierced the circus show that was going on and he asked me “do you need petrol?” I said yes, and he replied that he would take me. He got his helmet, and we jumped on his moto-bike while I told Michelle I would be back.
The fellow’s name was Lex, and he said he was from the village of Mae Om. I asked where Mae Om was because this was the mythical village we were trying to get to. He said this is Mae Om. I looked around in horror as although it was very scenic, it was not a place to buy furniture for high class clients. It looked like a rural area of Missouri or Arkansas. I now knew that not only was Michelle a bitch, but she had no clue what she was doing.
We got to a gas station, and the next problem was we needed a tank. Lex talked to the attendant, and she walked off. I asked what was going on, and Lex turned to me and told me not to worry. The attendant walked to an area next door and returned with a discarded plastic tank that I filled with petrol. We then returned to the jeep. On the way Lex told me not to worry while traveling in Thailand as everyone is friendly. I agreed as he was definitely the friendliest person I had met so far.
We returned and Lex started filling the jeep with the petrol. We did not have a nozzle, so some of the petrol spilled down the side. Michelle started to complain about the loss of petrol, but I told her to relax, and she quieted down. I had officially had enough of Michelle. Much of the internal dissent I had been feeling about her that I had only spoken to myself was now beginning to be vocalized. I tried to give Lex some money, but he would not take it. Once again, the friendliest people who deserve a tip would not take it.
Michelle had nicely bought me a sausage, and we sat down and had a beer with Lex and his friends. The least we could do for this extremely friendly person was sit and drink with him. They kept refilling our Chang beer, and Michelle was getting ancy as she wanted to go off to some other village that had nothing in it. I could have stayed and drank with these people all night, and in retrospect, I should have. I should have left Michelle right then, but I did not.
Lex then wanted us to go to his house and see the handicrafts that his sister made. I thought this would be great. We could buy some of his sister’s handicrafts as a way to pay him back for his kindness. They were really neat and I bought a couple and tried to give Lex the money that was labeled on the plastic of the crafts. Lex would not accept money for the ride to the gas station, he flat out refused us to pay for any of the beers we consumed in the bar, and he would not take money for the crafts. I had to force the money for the crafts on him and he finally accepted because I was practically begging for him to take the money.
He guided us to the road, and waived to us with a big smile as we left. I will never forget the help he gave us. I have his phone number and may be someday I will return to Mae Om and see him. Our next stop on this crazy trip to nowhere was Bong So. Michelle started complaining that so much of the day was wasted. I felt like saying “why don’t you look at the gas gauge next time,” but I did not. However, I did tell her that although we have wasted part of the day we did get to meet some incredible people. She was not assuaged by this argument. She turned to me and said “are you saying you don’t care about my work.” I hate this when people twist your words to say something you did not even say. All I was doing was trying to get her to look at the bright side of the whole affair.
My internal voice that had been arguing with Michelle all day and the night before, but had kept quiet because I wanted to bang her again finally awoke. I told her I was tired of the way she had been treating me the last couple of days and that she had been constantly attacking me, and I was tired of it. She got incredibly offended and denied ever doing such and said may she should just take me back to Chiang Mai. I told her that would be a wonderful idea. The next twenty minutes we drove in absolute complete silence. Usually you would think this silence awkward, but I was delighted with the silence and the fact that I would soon be rid of Michelle.
Finally after twenty minutes she said “what fucking pisses me off is that what you say is not true. I have never criticized you. You are 34 not 3. If you attack me for something I did not do, then I will criticize you.” I turned to her and said “Michelle, if it makes you feel better to criticize me then fire away.” This got her silent again. Couple of minutes later she asked where in Chiang Mai do you want to be dropped off. I said the Midtown guesthouse please. Minutes later we were there. I gathered my stuff and said goodbye, and she waived her hand at me and said “later” without even looking at me and got in the car and took off. I walked around to the guesthouse and asked if they had a room. 200 baht the man said and smiled. I said I will take it and smiled back. I was free.
“It is better to travel alone, than with a bad company.” Senegalese Proverb
Tags: Chiang Mai, Thailand, travel
Traveling Ted 
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