Another Day in the Life of a Sub

After my last experience readers probably think substitute teaching is all day dealing with disrespectful kids. It is not always so bad, but sometimes instead of being disrespectful they are just plain annoying. The last place I subbed was an inner city high school. Today I subbed in a neighborhood elementary school on the northwest side.

It was snowing this morning and unfortunately the traffic was horrendous. I got there just as school was starting. This prevented me from looking at the lesson plan before the students got there and settling in, which is always nice. The lesson plan was very detailed and seemed pretty easy to follow. The class I was subbing for was a fifth grade class, so I would have the students all day. There are obvious pros and cons to this. You are stuck with the same trouble makers all day, but at least you do not get a fresh stock of new trouble makers entering the class.

I took attendance and sent down a student to bring it to the office. Right away students started asking for a drink of water and to go to the bathroom. This seems like a simple request, but it is a sly move by the society of Substitute harassment to not do work and constantly disrupt class. I have noticed from previous visits to this school that the students have added a new technique to disrupt class. They feign sickness. They come up and say teacher can I go to the nurse I think I am going to throw up. They come up with these contorted faces, but they are merely malingerers. I used to fall for this and let everyone go, but now I measure them up and determine that they will leave and do not let them go. If they throw up in the classroom then I will know they are sick.

It was a typical class as far as work goes. Some of the students, mainly half of the girls, did all assignments with rigor and quietly while the rest of the class chatted away and did nothing. A bunch of students wanted to read on the rug during quiet reading hour. At first I said no, but then relented. The kids went over to the rug and held a book over their head so I could not see them and talked. They are so sly.

After gym, the students were supposed to do a writing assignment and then the lesson plan stated that “the students will publish their fiction stories.” No other instructions were given, so I assumed they knew what to do. They either pleaded ignorance to the assignment, said they could not do it because they did not have the materials, or said they were done. I did not believe any of these excuses. Then they had another assignment to complete an adjective exercise. The note from the teacher said it was in their folder. Again, I had students coming up to me pleading ignorance of the assignment and asking me for help. If I knew what it was they were to do I would have gladly helped, but the work was not in my notebook, so I had no idea. Other students had no problem with these instructions, so it was obvious some students were just being difficult.

The morning and afternoon passed pretty peacefully except for interruptions to go to the bathroom and a few malingerers. After lunch I took them all to the bathroom, so I would not have to hear it after lunch. I know that I would still hear the questions, but I was not going to allow them to go since we were all going as a class. As I was waiting outside one student came out and said that students were inside trying to throw up so they could go home. I walked inside and just as I did I see a student in a bathroom stall throwing up on the floor when the toilet was two feet behind him. I asked him what he was doing? He twirled around and then tried to throw up in the toilet. I went outside and the principal was out there. I told him what happened and he simply put his hand out and said “these things happen, sometimes you cannot control it.” I thought to myself that if it is ok with you that you have moron students then fine, I don’t care. Let them throw up all over the bathroom then.

While all this was going on the kids in the hall were going nuts and they got themselves in trouble with security guards. Security helped me usher the kids back to class. Then it was time for quiet reading. I was to read them a story. As soon as I started there was too much talking for me to even hear myself. I stopped and said I would start again when everyone was quiet. As I waited the kids started yelling at each other. “Shut up.” “I was not saying anything, you shut up.” “SHHHHHHHHHHH, the teacher is waiting.” “You shut up.” This could have gone on forever. I called the office button and had the security come in and told them I could not even read to the students. I pointed out one of the guilty kids and he was removed. They then bitched the students out and told me if I had ANY problems to feel free to call them. I then continued to read. Then a little paper wad fight ensued while I was reading. I pressed the button again and had the two culprits sent to the office. Finally, I battled through a chapter.

Next was a math game. The instructions for the game were in a math book. I passed out the material and one student said he did not have a partner and asked if I could play with him. I obliged and also got another girl without a partner to play. We played two games and while I was concentrating on figuring out the game I noticed it was getting louder and louder around me. I walked around the class, and not many other students were doing as instructed. I asked them why they were not playing. “We do not understand the game.” I love it that they did not ask me earlier and waited till the end to express their confusion.

I then posted three math pages and seven reading book pages. One student said “we don’t have a reading book.” Another ploy by the Monroe substitute harassment society to avoid work and disrupt. I just stared at her and showed her what her teacher left. I then said would your teacher assign a substitute a lesson for a book that did not exist. She did not answer. I then clearly stated to the class that they have forty minutes to get started on these pages and what you could not finish in class was homework. They all frowned and complained at the amount of pages that they had to do. I told them they could easily finish half if they got to work. They just frowned and continued to complain instead of diligently getting started so as to avoid work at home.

One student then asked “is this homework?” I again replied that it was classwork and what was not completed was to be finished for homework. A few minutes later someone else asked the same question. I replied the same answer. A few minutes later some other student asked a different derivation of the same question. “Do we have to do this now?” I again stated it was class work and what could not be finished was homework. A few minutes later someone else asked, “is this homework?” I then lost my cool. “YOU ARE TO WORK ON THE ASSIGNMENT ON THE BOARD, WHAT YOU DO NOT FINISH IS HOMEWORK. IS THIS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?” I then repeated myself even louder because it was apparent these students were pretty dumb or could not listen. One student laughed at my outburst. The Monroe Substitute Harassment Society had reached their goal. A Harassment Society’s goal is to make the sub freak out because that is interesting and fun for these students, so I made their day and weekend. I then pushed the button for security. I guess I must have been the boy who cried wolf as they did not come this time.

It actually feels good to get all that out. There are not many jobs where you can freak out on people and not have negative repercussions. If I were to yell at a co-worker like that in the corporate world or at the restaurant, I would at best be sternly talked to myself or sent to some sensitivity training or at worst fired. In the substitute world it is encouraged to be stern with kids, so I am sure the administration was thinking I was doing good work.

Finally it was time to get things together for dismissal. Just as we were about to leave one student came up to me with a very serious and sullen facial expression. “Mr. Nelson,” he said, “I am sorry for my behavior today.” This was great. Act like a complete ruffian for six hours and twenty-five minutes, and then at 2:40 (school is over at 2:45) apologize for the whole day and expect complete absolution. Completely brilliant. This reminded me of the scene in Animal House when at a frat party John Belushi approaches a guy playing the guitar serenading a couple of females. The Belushi character takes the guitar away and emphatically smashes the hell out of it. He then gives the smashed up useless guitar back to the shaken player and Belushi says “Sorry.”

A week in the life of a Sub – Friday (thank God)

I had had it with this assignment. I was throwing in the towel. The students won. After the hell week I endured I was going to bring in my favorite movies and watch them all day whether the students liked them or not. I figured I deserved it. I was bringing in the first two Lord of the Rings films and just was going to watch it continuously all day long. Before class began I took a few pics of my own private hell for posterity sake.

Second period came and only half the class even bothered to show up. I turned on the film and sat down underneath the balcony, so in case any flying lug nuts or any other projectiles came from the thugs waiting for the dean of students they would hit the students and not me. I know this sounds bad, but screw them. Today was all about survival. My survival that is.

Second period passed, and I only had four more classes to go. Fourth period was my worst group, so if I could survive this 46 minutes the rest of the day would be downhill. They filtered in and immediately tried to fan out in order to best get on my nerves. I was having none of it and ordered one student to sit down on the risers. He did not listen and I made the walk to the security button. Before I could do it he finally did as he was told. I turned on the film and took a seat.

A few students were up front watching the movie while a larger group sat around and had a little social hour. A couple students started taking their phones out and playing music. Usually, I am firm about not allowing this, but today was survival day. Anything that kept the students at bay and not doing anything too obnoxious I was all in favor for.

This group then started critiquing the movie. One student called it boring. Whether you like Lord of the Rings or not, the movie is anything but boring. It is non-stop action after the first twenty minutes of the first movie. I asked the student how he could call the film boring when it was non-stop action. He looked at me and had this quizzical look as he tried to process my question. He then changed his tactic. He told me he did not like the Lord of the Rings because the movie was gay.

The bell rang, and I was beginning to breath a little easier. Three more classes and 7th period was only eight students, so really only two more to go. Sixth period came and went and it was more of the same. Some students quietly watched the movie and enjoyed it while others sat in a group around the corner. The girl I had kicked out of my 8th period class two days in a row came in and I was about to tell her to scram, but she nicely asked if she could watch the movie as it was her lunch hour. I allowed her since she asked so nicely. Another girl also came in at the same time. I asked her if this was her class. She did not even turn to respond to me. This girl I could tell was nothing but trouble and so I called security and got her out. Halfway through the period the most annoying group of students all got up and left and said they had to do something for basketball. This must be my lucky day I thought.

What should have been my easiest class turned into my hardest class the next period. There were only 8 kids in the class, but half of them were really pieces of work. There were about four students that just could not sit still. I made them sit in the front of the class and just let them wander. As long as they were in front of me that was okay. Suddenly, security came into the room and the dude started shaking down one of the students. I thought he was going to pick him up by the ankle and turn him upside down and literally shake him. I think he was looking for a stolen cell phone, and he was the main suspect. The guard grabbed him by the neck and forced him on the ground and searched all his pockets and even his shoes. During this ruckus a bottle of lotion came flying from the balcony and landed on the risers. I just sat and kept watching the Lord of the Rings. Screw the chaos enveloping around me as I was just going to sit and watch the Lord of the Rings safely in my little corner.

Eighth period arrived, and I knew it was pretty much over. I had problems with this class on Tuesday and Wednesday, but it was only a couple of students and I sent those two to the dean and on Thursday they became wise and caused no trouble. They settled down right away and a couple of students were talking about having to leave and asked if I was taking them down. I had no idea what they were talking about. I was not very curious either as I was not leaving my safe corner unless ordered by a superior. I looked around and saw no superiors only a bunch of punk kids. An announcement came on the loudspeaker saying all Juniors and Seniors must go to an assembly. Eighty percent of the class got up and left including the two I had kicked out previously. I had four students left. One was a real trouble maker, but with out the other students gone he actually settled down and watched the movie. This day was just too easy. I was beginning to think that a memo circulated through the Uplift High School Substitute Harassment Society that ordered the society to go easy on Mr. Nelson as he was about to have a break down and might hurt someone.

The bell rang and my week in hell was over. I breathed a mighty sigh of relief and told all my students to have a great weekend with a huge smile on my face. As the last student left before the door closed behind them the last thing I heard was a couple of the girl students singing and then right before the door slammed shut I heard a boy’s voice yell at the girls “shut the fuck up.” Then the door slammed shut and all was quiet in the Music room front.

A week in the life of a sub – Thursday

I was throwing in the towel on the lesson plans. The students in this period were used to playing instruments and having fun this period and were outraged to have to do actual school work. I guess I could not blame them, but they did not have to be so disrespectful about it. Anyways, I decided that from here on out it would be movie time in the music building.

I went into the library and checked out a biography about Barack Obama. Second period this went over well and more than half of the students watched the bio in near silence.

Fourth period was a different animal. They could care less what video was playing and instead wanted to dance around the room. At one point the girl that I had kicked out the last two consecutive eight periods peeked into the room and then disappeared.

Minutes later a loud crash came down onto the risers. It was so loud it startled me. It turned out that someone had thrown a metal bracket from above the balcony onto the risers. I am not sure if they were aiming at me, a student in class, or just no one and wanted to cause general disruption. I feared that it may have been aimed at me in revenge against the students I sent to the dean in eighth period on Wednesday.

I called security and was going to report the incident. Before security came one of the students asked to see the bracket. I extended my hand to him to show him and he tried to grab it and run up the stairs. I have no idea why he did this, but I thought he was covering for the student that threw it and wanted to get rid of the evidence. Security arrived and I explained the incident and gave him the bracket. I also told him about the student that tried to grab the bracket and he was removed from class. He gave me an icy stare as he left with security. I guess I just made another student’s Christmas card list at Uplift.

I then returned to my chair and noticed my jacket was missing. I looked around and it was nowhere to be found. I told security that my jacket was gone, and he frowned. The students thought this was hilarious and started asking me questions. One student said “Mr. Nelson is it a snake skin jacket?” Then everyone laughed. Another student said, “Mr. Nelson is is a polka dot jacket?” Again everyone found it hilarious. I ignored them and continued to look for my jacket.

My jacket was nothing special, so I did not fear that it was stolen, as most students had nicer jackets than me anyways. I did fear that a student might have grabbed it during the security intrusion and hid it somewhere to mess with me. I looked all around the room including under the risers. Fortunately, I found it stashed in a corner near a desk where a couple of students were hanging out. They did not hide it maliciously, but I had left it on the desk where they wanted to hang and so they moved it into the corner. The students were still laughing at the affair and continued making jokes about it the rest of the period.

I had now officially had it with this assignment. I had a free period after this class and I went into the office and told them I could not handle watching the students in that room. I asked if I could move the kids to an empty classroom. The music room was not an area conducive for a substitute teacher to monitor students. The librarian told me even the music teacher has had problems in that class. Furthermore, I realized later that the balcony upstairs is actually right outside of the Dean of Students office. Disgruntled and in trouble students would sit outside of the office, sometimes two or three deep waiting for their opportunity to get their sentence handed to them for their misconduct. These students were hovering over my music room. It was probably one of these thugs that decided to throw the bracket. I also had many other altercations as students sitting down in my room would have several verbal altercations with the students above.

One of the administrators said that we could move to a classroom. The secretary for the principal said she would go in and help me in the classroom. For the rest of the day her and other security personnel would make random checks into my classroom especially at the beginning of the period that really helped restore order. I had no more problems the rest of the day thanks to help from other school personnel. I like to do things myself, but I realized this task was too much for me.

During eighth period the office buzzed and asked me if I would be returning tomorrow. After my outburst in the office they thought may be I was quitting, but I made a commitment for the week and was going to follow through. If I could make it four days through this hell I could easily make another one.

A Week in the life of a sub – Wednesday

I show up to work a little late today thinking I have some leeway since I do not have a class first period. It took me a while to clear my car of snow. I get into the building and Mrs. Rocha is a little stressed and asked if I could cover first period for another teacher that is out. Apparently the sub for this teacher has not showed up. This really sucks because it means I will have six periods with children. After five hours with big pains in the necks any extra time is not wanted nor appreciated. I could not say no to Mrs. Rocha though, so I helped her out.

I showed up just as the bell rang and a throng of kids cheered my appearance salivating like Pavlov’s dogs at the sub. Some of the students in this class I have in music. They did not share the enthusiasm of the other students. One female student decried “YOU AGAIN,” and had this look on her face like she was going to throw up. Hey, what can I say, the ladies of all ages love me. I told this student that I was her personal substitute and was going to follow her all day. Her face even got more contorted in a look of horror. Her face looked like Suzanne Pleschette’s in the shower scene of the movie Psycho.

This class was actually really well behaved. This class had some of the malcontents from my music class and even they were somewhat behaved. The hour flew by and I was thinking this was going to be a breeze. Just as I thought this one student violently jumped up and started frantically pointing at the quietest student in the class. Fortunately, two other students repressed her. Usually when there is a fight in high school students spur the action on, but I was impressed as these two students showed maturity beyond their years in calming her down and separating the two. The quiet one just smiled and continued what she was doing. I have no idea what she said, but it sure got the other girl mad. She had to be led into the hall way and she continued to threaten the quiet student from a distance. This incident was no big deal and in fact I found it quite comical.

The bell rang and I headed over to 2nd period. My class there was given an assignment to do. They were to read a one page piece about 80s music and then answer some questions. One student out of the fifteen in the class completed the assignment, but at least they were somewhat relaxed. This period ended peacefully and then I had a free period next.

Fourth period was completely unruly. They were bouncing off the walls the minute they came in. A record nine out of twenty-one completed the assignment, but this class was way worse than second period. The students are used to blowing off some steam in this class as they get to play instruments and have fun and I think they resent the fact that they cannot play their instruments and have to actually to do written work. “The horror.” At one point there was a student that actually climbed under the risers and was shouting obscenities. I called security, but the student ran out the door before they could come.

I vowed after this class that I was going to hand out the assignment as they came in and make sure they stayed on the band risers. I was dreading 6th period as they are usually the worst of them all. Sure enough they wanted to wander like nomads around the room, but I successfully got them quiet and seated and actually working. The only disruption came when a couple of students not from the class entered and started talking to some of the students. I told these students that they had to leave. They said Mr. Westmoreland allows them to come during their lunch period. This may or may not be true, but I was not going to allow anymore students into the classroom. I had an attendance roster from the office and those were the students that I was responsible for. No class party crashers allowed.

They would not leave, so security was summoned. The one security guard that is really good at keeping order came in and she threw the students out and told them to go to lunch and made sure the rest were in order. She is my hero.

Seventh period only had five students, so no worries here. Only one more class between me and freedom. I threw a girl out the day before in this class, and I had a inkling that she might be trouble today. Sure enough she approached and here was the ensuing conversation.

Malcontent: Why did you lie about me
Me: I did not lie
Malcontent: You said I called the movie a piece of shit
Note: She actually called the movie a piece of sh, but to me what is implied is what is said, so I took poetic license on the write up sheet to say she said shit instead of sh
Me: Your implication was understood and that was not the reason I sent you down. It was for your private campaign to get on my nerves
Malcontent: I was not trying to get on your nerves. I was trying to get on someone else’s nerves and it got on your nerves on accident.
Me: I told you to stop several times and the getting on my nerves and the stares you gave me were not very nice.
Malcontent: I am not a nice person.
Me: Go sit down please
Malcontent: Sits down right next to me and stares at me instead of returning to seat.
Me: Please stop staring at me like this or I will send you to the office
Malcontent: Why would you send me down for our conversation. Stop staring at ME she retorted.

At this point I was done with this conversation as she called it and hit the button for security and for the second day in a row she was removed.

At this point a male student began complaining that she did nothing and that I am just trying to get her in trouble. I told him that I did not need to try and get her into trouble as she was doing a good job of that herself. He then picked up the staring mantle and gave me angry glares.

At this point my cell phone rang and it was from another school. I answered it and the school wanted me to work the next day. I replied I could not because I already was committed to the angels of Uplift. The new stare wizard complained that I should not be using my cell phone as my job was to watch the students. I told him another school was interested in my services, but I declined because I knew “name of new malcontent stare jerk” would miss me. He laughed at this and then remembered that he hated me and began to glare again and said “yea right.” He continued to pester me and I told him to shut up and then sent him out.

It drives me crazy that students break rules they know are against the rules and then when I try to enforce rules they know they have illegally broken try to argue or engage in debate. I did not come here to debate disrespectful students. I am very lenient and let students do what they want as long as they are not disruptive and not disrespectful. I do not think that is much to ask, but to a few I am a jerk. I guess you cannot please everyone especially ones that are already malcontents.

Finally the bell rang and I was done. I wrote up a draft for the dean of students for my eighth period malcontents and deposited them into the dean’s mailbox. I complained to Mrs. Rocha that this was the worst assignment I have received at Uplift. I was not mad at her, but I wanted and needed to vent. She apologized and asked if I was coming tomorrow. I told her of course that I had made a commitment and would stand by it. She said I should talk to the Asst. Vice Principal. She told me that it was him that wanted me for this week’s assignment because he told Mrs. Rocha that I was strict with the kids. This made me almost burst out laughing. I am the most laid back lenient person, and I am no different with the students than I am to anyone else. I have learned that I have to draw a line somewhere especially with the horrible behavior I have experienced over the last couple of days. It made me think how bad other substitutes must really be if they are even less lenient than me.

I have thrown in the towel for the rest of the week. I will not be giving anymore assignments. I will be checking out the TV and the students can sit and watch movies the next two days. I am done trying to bang my head against a wall to make them do work.

A Week in the Life of a Sub – Tuesday

I arrived at school hoping for lesson plans and happy students. I was told when I arrived the same story as yesterday that the lesson plans will be arriving soon. The lesson plans were not too important as I had a movie that I could show to every class except 6th period as they saw it the day before.

My first class was second period and the movie went over okay with them. There was only one major disruption and that was when one student had her phone out. Even though phone usage is strictly forbidden during school, I usually turn a blind eye to it, but once again the students will take that allowance and push it to the limit. This student was actually playing music that was drowning out the movie. I asked her to put it away. Usually this is enough to stop the problem. This student asked “what am I supposed to do then,” in a disrespectful tone. I told her she was to watch the movie as that was the appointed activity. She continued to complain, and even told me she thought I had a bad attitude. I called for security and had her removed. I have a lot of patience for student chicanery, but little for student disrespect.

Period four was pretty much quiet and then during 5th period, which I had for break, I finally tracked down the elusive lesson plans. I passed them out to 6th period as they entered the class room. Most of them took it, but the shorty dude that I kicked out yesterday just slapped it as if to knock it out of my hands. A few others flat out refused the assignment. I cannot physically force anyone to do assignments, but it would be nice if they would at least humor me and pretend to do it.

They had to read a section on music pirating and then answer some questions. No one was reading and a bunch of students were milling around the door. I knew no one would do anything unless I try to get control of the class. I tried to scatter the group at the door, but they would have nothing of it, so I called security. Once security arrived the students finally got to their desk. Security, not seeing anything wrong with what was going on, was kind of annoyed at being called and showed it. This show of annoyance by security lowered my authority in the class to just about zero especially with the malcontents, which were many in this class. Nine students out of twenty-two completed the assignment, which is not bad for being a substitute.

Period seven rolled by smoothly and then period eight followed. Period eight started out pretty well, until one student tried a private campaign to get on my nerves. She asked first if she could bring a movie to watch tomorrow. I told her we had an assignment to do tomorrow. She asked if she could do the assignment now instead of watching the piece of shit movie. I told her to sit down. She then started tapping a pen in an annoying matter. I asked her to stop. Then she started rubbing the pen in an equally annoying matter. I again asked her to stop. Then she started tapping it again and stopping when I looked her way. All the while she was staring at me with this look of death. That was enough for me, and I again called security and had her removed. Security asked what was wrong, and I told him to remove the annoyance and I would write up the incident and put it in the Dean of Students mail box. I realized that it is fruitless calling security just to have them restore order. The only reason to call them is to have one of the many cancers removed. Once a student is removed the other students realize you mean business and that usually at least subdues them a little.

When I first came to Uplift High School early in the year I was impressed by how stringent the security was in keeping the students in line. This discipline is slowly slipping away as the school year progresses. I do not think I want to sub here next year. Once discipline starts to flag it only gets worse.

A week in the life of a sub – Monday

I get to school at 7:15am for a week long sub assignment at Uplift High school on Chicago’s north side. The music teacher’s father passed away, and I am the sub for the week in a school that is 90% African-American. I am a white history teacher, and I have no experience teaching music except for the fact that I play a little guitar and I like music.

When I get to the office the office lady is very stressed and has no information for me regarding my classes. She asks me to wait, which I patiently do. Finally she comes up to me and tells me to go to my class and she will provide a roster and lesson plans later. I have no idea what periods I am teaching nor who or how many students are in each class.

First period comes around and a couple of sleepy-eyed students wander in. Only about five come in and they are really confused on where they should be or what they should do. I am not much help as I have no idea either. Usually, they play instruments, but all the instruments are locked up tight, probably for good reason.

Second period comes and about fifteen students show up. Still no roster or lesson plan. I pass around a blank sheet of paper and pass it around for them to sign for attendance. I have them do nothing. The problem is when you tell kids to just relax and chill and you have nothing for them to do they do everything but relax and chill. A couple of kids try and pry open the locks to get into the music room while I am ten feet from them watching them. I ask them nicely to stop, but they pretend I am not even there. I wonder what they think I am thinking. Do they think I will just let them break in and grab whatever they want? I then go over and make them sit down and warn them I am about to call security. They finally sit down.

Third period arrives and three students show up. I bring them over to the library as I ran into the librarian and she said I could bring students over to the library if I had nothing for them to do. I bring them in and the librarian is very helpful towards my dilemma. She offers to give me a TV/DVD, and a movie called Stomp. It is a movie about a bunch of performers that use ordinary things and even garbage to make music by banging on them percussion style. The librarian informs me they will love it. I tell her may be tomorrow and leave. The librarian tells me that a music teacher is subbing in an English class and wonders why she is not subbing in the music class. I tell her the Chicago Public school bureaucracy is not that efficient. When a teacher goes down they just want an adult body to keep order for the day.

About twenty kids show up for fourth period and the exact scenario plays itself out again as I have to stop a certain bunch from trying to break into the locked area where the instruments are. I decide that I need to take up the offer from the librarian and get the video.

During 5th hour I have a break, so I go downstairs and ask what my schedule is and they finally provide a roster. No lesson plans, so I go to the library and get the movie. When sixth period comes in I am prepared with an activity. This is great I say. You are nothing as a sub or a teacher without a lesson plan or activity. You would think that you could come into a class and say “hey kids, it is free time today.” That just does not work. You think they would appreciate the freedom and cherish it and thank you for it. Instead they do everything to annoy you and push the boundaries of bad behavior.

The students actually gather and some start watching the tape with interest. This is very pleasing as my peace of mind is dependent on this tape. After about twenty minutes some students are ignoring it and talking, but the other half is actually watching it and behaving. Fifty percent proper behavior for a sub is a gold mine.

Then the power goes out and everything turns dark. Oh crap, and the kids start to go nuts. I settle them down and they go back to pushing the boundaries of bad and annoying behavior. I was pre-warned that this was the worst class. After several minutes it was apparent the power was not coming up anytime soon. The security guards came in and told us that they did not want the students changing classes with the power out.

Great!!!!!!!! Now I was stuck with the worst class for an indefinite period without a lesson plan or activity. The only saving grace for any sub in the high schools is each class is only 46 minutes. Anyone can stand the worst of class for only three quarters of an hour plus one minute. It gives new meaning sometimes to saved by the bell. This class was stuck with me for an additional 46 minutes. The good thing was after going a little nutty for awhile they actually calmed down at one point. Students have a very small attention span, and I guess acting like idiots toward the substitute teacher only seemed interesting for 50 minutes or so.

It also helped that I called security to remove one student. This little shorty kept wandering around the room and totally ignoring my pleas for him to sit down. At one point he opened up the drapes. I figured the drapes were down for a reason and asked him to stop playing with it. It was like I was not even there. Finally, I called security and had him removed.

I understand what they were thinking here by keeping the students at bey, but I think the risk of sending students to their next class through darkened halls was not a very big one. It was not pitch dark or anything, so I do not think anyone’s safety would have been compromised. Instead they made a bunch of students stay in a class for 45 minutes more than planned with teachers and subs who probably were not prepared to keep the students another 45 minutes. They figured this decision was one that would result in more order, but it actually led to more chaos. At least it did for my class.

Finally power was restored by eighth period and the students from that period waltzed in. I started showing the movie, but the students pleaded with me to let them watch their own movie. One student opened up a sleeve of pirated DVD discs. I made sure they picked one that was not dirty or offensive in anyway and allowed them to watch it provided they stayed in their seats. I usually do not allow kids to watch their own movies, but the white flag was up for me at this point. They actually watched the movie with minimal wandering and were somewhat quiet. May be I should just let every class watch whatever movie they want. It would be less stress and lower blood pressure for Traveling Ted.

Reflections on a Substitute teacher’s first day

 I have been in the twilight of my claims career for the last year.  I was told in February that my company was moving their operations from Chicago to Sioux Falls, South Dakota effective September of 2007.  Since that time I was lucky enough to be kept on on a week-by-week basis for special projects and help with the transition.  There were multiple times where I would send an email to my bosses on Thursday to ask if they wanted me to show up for work the following Monday.  Nothing quite like job security.  Finally, they gave me a concrete day of January 11th for my last day.  On January 10th I notfied them that I found another issue that needed to be done and suggest they retain me for another week  to work on the project.  They called me at 3:45pm on January 11th to let me know that they agreed with my assessment and would like to keep me for another week.

January 18th was my new last day.  This time no extensions were granted and my last day was fixed.  I felt like a prisoner on death row waiting for the Governor to commute my sentence.  No extension was granted and my last day was January 18.

In the meantime I have been working on getting approved as a substitute teacher in the Chicago Public Schools.  This has been a lengthy process replete with background and medical checks.  After they confirmed I was not a sex offender nor someone carrying infective diseases they approved my application.

It is pretty cool because you can choose if you want to be available or not available for the next school day and make this be known by calling a 1-800#.  I called on Monday afternoon and made myself available for Tuesday.  This thing that sucks about it is you do not know until the next day if you are needed or not.  They call you between 6am and 9am to let you know if you will be working. 

I woke up the next morning around 6am and went online for awhile and waited for the call.  By 7:30am I was hoping not to work as I envisioned a day of naps, pancakes, online, and TV.   At 7:45am the phone rang and my heart sank.  They asked if I was available, and I said “yea” without much enthusiasm.  They told me to report to the Cleveland school by 8:45 am.  This school was a ten minute drive from my condo.

I got there early and the lady at the reception desk told me the teacher I was subbing for was actually in the room.  I went up to room 302 and the teacher was there making a lesson plan for me.  Her mother was sick and she had to leave.  She gave me a few hints and told me if I had any problems to ask Jordan who was the teacher’s pet and would let me know what is up.  She informed me the students were 6th graders.  I thought to myself “great” as I had no credentials working with 6th graders as my certificate was for high school.  My only qualification for teaching 6th grade was that I once was in 6th grade a long time ago.

I went down to the auditorium and fetched my class.  Their eyes lit up when they saw me.  They asked if I was the sub and I said “yes.”  They did a a little song and dance and marched up to our room  humming their own little life is great because we have a sub song.  When we got to the room I asked who Jordan was and she raised her hand. I adjusted the seating chart to where she was sitting, so I had the names of the kids at hand.

The first task was to give them a Sudoku and a word find for the first hour.  They started working quietly, but soon the noise level grew and grew.  I pointed to one obnoxiously loud student and yelled “Edgar, how is the Sudoku going?” He was in shock that I knew his name and got back to work.  Another girl was getting out of hand, so I pointed at her and shouted “Alyssa, you do not need your neighbor’s help with your word find.”  Again, total befuddlement that I knew her name.  A couple other kids asked if I knew their names.  I thought to myself this was going to be easy if all I had to do was shout out their names a couple of times.  Looking back I think this was a ploy by the students to get me into a false sense of security.

The next task was to put up a transparency on the overhead, which correlated with study guide questions that they had an assessment on the next day.  I told them to copy the study guide, so they could find the answers tonight when they were studying.  I walked around, but not many where copying the questions as I instructed.  I tried to reason with them and told them that copying it was to their benefit. 

They continued to chat, so I tried another strategy and grabbed Denzel’s book and went over some of the questions by having the students read out the section in the text that had the answer.  Unfortunately, not many people could hear the answer as they were talking.  When I took the first page of the study guide and replaced it with the second page the chatters asked for the answers that we had just gone over.  Sorry dudes, read it yourself tonight.  Then I did the same lesson plan with the transperancies with the class next door with similar results.

After a 20 minute lunch I had a reading lesson plan to go over with the original home room class.  It was a 1.5 page reading on health followed with multiple choice questions and essay questions.  I read aloud the first paragraph and then had volunteers read the rest.  I had two Philippino students and Jordan that were totally into this part and raised their hand after every question I asked because I wanted to supplement their understanding of the reading by asking other questions.  They also volunteered to read aloud anytime I asked for volunteers. 

The rest of the class was more into what their neighbor was doing.  I had one student named Shannon who was having a case of the Mondays on Tuesday (a double case because Monday was off due to Martin Luther King day.)  She kept asking to leave the classroom and go to the office or speak to Ms. Baker because of some problem.  Whatever, go ahead and go.  It was one less rug rat to look after.

I kept yelling at the class to be quiet, especially when another student was reading.  They would acknowledge that I told them to be quiet by looking at me nodding for a second and the by being quiet for two more seconds followed by a resumption of conversation with their neighbor.  I also had an autistic student that had a learning disabled teacher helping him.  He moaned out at one time, and I told him to be quiet.  I soon realized to my horrror that I told an autistic child to shut up and apologized to his teacher.  She shrugged it off and said no problem.  She could see the problems I was having with the class and understood.

I then had to repeat this lesson with the class next door again.  Two kids in this class would not shut up and were laughing the whole time.  I tried everything including seperating them, threatening detention, and making them go back to their home room class, but nothing really worked.  I got so fet up with this class I yelled at them and told them they could work on this themselves since they were not interested in working on it as a class.  This would be the first and not the last time I lost my cool.  I kind of felt sorry for the two kids that were actually trying to participate.

The last part of the day was quiet reading for the last twenty minutes with the home room class.  I thought this would be the easiest part of the day.  They returned to the class and informed me that their teacher usually gave them free time during this period.  I asked Jordan if this was true and she frowned in disapproval.  I told everyone to get something to read and be quiet.

They grabbed a book and then started talking.  I informed them the act of reading was an individual act and that silent reading was two clues that the assigment did not included talking to your neighbor.   They stopped an listened to my arguement processed it and the continued talking to their neighbors.  Again I lost my cool and yelled at them to be quiet, cut the crap, and started reading.  This kind of freaked them out and for the first time all day complete silence enveloped the room.

They then shifted their strategy.  If they could not talk to their neighbor without being yelled at by the all of a sudden unreasonble sub then they would find a different way.  We now shifted into the war of the bladder.  One kid asked if he cold go to the bathroom.  I said sure.  Then another kid came up and asked the same.  I said wait until Noel comes back.  Then immediately another and another came up with the same question.  I said one at a time.  They said that their teacher allows two.  I asked Jordan if this was true and she shaked her head no.  I admired her bravery. 

I then was surrounded by 10 students dancing around me with their legs clamped in an exaggerated I have to go now or I will pee in my pants perfomance.  I was no longer a teacher or a disciplinarian, but head of room 302 bladder control.   I relented and allowed two at a time to go.  I then went out in the hall and the two kids that were supposed to be peeing were goofing off in the hall.  I told them to come in and revoked all further pottie breaks.

Quiet reading mercifully ended, and I delivered the kids to music class.  They were dismissed straight from music class.  I left with a splitting headache.  I went to the office and told them I was leaving since I was done with my kids.  One of the secretaries snippily said they dismissed their kids at 2:45.  The other secretary suggested I could hang out in the teacher’s lounge.  Being a utilitarian I thought about this for a second and realized the greater good of society was not being benefited by me hanging out uselessly in the teacher’s lounge.  The teacher I subbed for said I did not need to hang around for music anyway.  I clocked out and left.

Despite the problems, I was pleased with the way I performed for a first day on the job.  No child was hurt under my watch and some students were actually into the way I tried to teach.  Classroom management is a skill that is learned and is much easier when you are an actual teacher starting at the beginning of the year than a sub or a student teacher.

Since the last year and half I have had limitted vacation since I have not been a full time employee at the Life Insurance company, I have not had a one week straight vacation since this time.  I feel a little stressed and worn out because of this especially since this whole time I have been worried about how long they would keep me on as since February they could have dismissed me at any time.

Because of this, the next day I drove 1100 miles to North Florida.  Two nights ago I camped in a park and yesterday morning I woke up and ran in my shorts, tank top, and sweatband.  It is 55 degrees warmer here than it was since I left Chicago (it was 5 degrees there.)

I am now in Tampa, Florida hanging out with my college roommate and his family.  He apologized for the chilly weather today although it is a beautiful sunny day of 65 degrees.  I am going to spend a month or more down here.  I plan on hitting the Keys, the Everglades, campgrounds, and any beach that I feel like.